Depression in the Bright Sunlight: Fuck it all!

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Depression in the Bright Sunlight. Fuck it all: A Look inside my brain

A look inside madness,
I can feel it coming back again,
Those raw emotions,
Tried to bury so long ago.
My own prison cell,
Here in my very own mind,
A dull gray paint splatters the walls,
My breathe,
The only sound I hear,
The raging silence,
Piercing through my heart.

I hear,
That laugh,
In a memory,
Somewhere,
Now distant,
Fading into darkness,
Should be me,
A distant memory,
Standing here,
In the middle of a breakdown,
Can't tell the world,
Sitting here silently,
Those memories,
Killing me,
Here in my prison of my mind,
A prison of my own creation.

Broken dreams,
A Life,
Despised,
Rejection by my own eyes,
Try to close them,
My fist smashing into the mirror,
Blood,
There on the floor,
Rejection by my own mind.

Pictures,
Ripped from magazines,
There on the table,
Light up a cigarette,
Blowing smoke rings into the air,
Feeling the rush,
A scream,
Into that darkness,
It has been awhile,
Since I've felt okay.


Painful memories, flashing across my mind, like some shitty movie, replaying over and over, guilt, suicidal thoughts, rage, fuck you, pain, hate, smashing fist into the wall, rinse and repeat, over and over again, fuck, shit, hate!!

Fuck it all!!

Over and over again, why must I feel this way?

Fuck!

Make this go away!

One last peaceful sleep, embraced in your arms, it has been awhile since I could look at myself and not hate.

Fuck!

Good night and goodbye!

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