The Poet's Mind Field

Depression in the Bright Sunlight. Fuck it all: A Look inside my brain A look inside madness, I can feel it coming back again, Those raw emotions, Tried to bury so long ago. My own prison cell, Here in my very own mind, A dull gray paint splatters the walls, My breathe, The only sound I hear, The raging silence, Piercing through my heart. I hear, That laugh, In a memory, Somewhere, Now distant, Fading into darkness, Should be me, A distant memory, Standing here, In the middle of a breakdown, Can't tell the world, Sitting here silently, Those memories, Killing me, Here in my prison of my mind, A prison of my own creation. Broken dreams, A Life, Despised, Rejection by my own eyes, Try to close them, My fist smashing into the mirror, Blood, There on the floor, Rejection by my own mind. Pictures, Ripped from magazines, There on the table, Light up a cigarette, Blowing smoke rings into the air, Feeling the rush, A scream, Into that darkness, It has been awhile, Since I'...

I love you forever, And another day, I love you more, Then life itself, Today was a fairy tale, You and I engaged in a kiss, I in a black t-shirt, You standing there, Looking kind of afraid. I am in love with a dream, A memory, A place in history, I drank a little too much, To feel you, To see you, My beautiful one, Pull you closer, A tattoo on your shoulder, My name in a heart, Thinking in a bottle, Of misery, And hate, As long as you love me, I will always love you!

Counting the number of tiles in the bathroom, up and down the world, fourteen steps at a time, one by one, trying to keep a deal with God. Madness in a closet, whispers against the howling of the winds, a nightmare in technocolor, a flashing of a movie, tearing me apart, ripping my soul from the grime reality. The idiots are walking around, like zombies on crack, yelling out, screaming out, I hide away from the madness, the voices inside my head, making me want to scream out, to poke out my mind. Races on the ice field, come on, run with me, to fear not the trial but the outcome, the greatest murder is the murder of the soul, to murder oneself, by the hammers of their own words, against the steel, against the blade of self-doubt. Making a deal, with Hell, running up that hill, bottom near the top, flipped, someone threw me a shovel and told me to start digging when I thought I had hit bottom. Nowhere near bottom, been there before, running down the wrong side, laughing a...

No one sleeps, Under broken, Hollow skies. Lights are buried under, The rushing water, The city falls into angry hat, Senile old men dreaming of younger days, Worshippers, shoppers, bowing, paying, at the altars that they made. Crowds staggering, Drunk from cheap booze, High from spiraling smoke, Dizzy from the dance, Into that ugly grave, A midnight dancer, Dancing across the sky, High, High, Flying through that midnight hour, A seamless wonder, A simple flyer, Higher, Higher, Whirling into cosmic rays, To live, To die, Underneath the midnight moon. She dances, In silence, Brillance, To hear the music playing, Inside her head, Moving in rhythm of that sweet song, Alone inside her head, Not seeing that roof top, But somewhere else.

You are the dream I've seen before, Drifting up above me, A look, A heart beat, Beat fast, How to be brave, How to love, Since I've fell, To flutter my wings, Into the strong winds, One step, Forward, Towards you, Darling, I have loved you, Till the end of time, And will love you forever more. You are my soul, Standing in front of me, A thousand hours, Flowing, A thousand kisses, Flowing from, My lips, To yours. Drawn along, I shall find you, I shall love you, Forever, And ever, To dream, To feel you, To hear those words, From your lips, A thousand times more.

There in the moonlight, Stood the fortune, Of a downed man. There in the silence, Sat the voice of reason, Seen the words, Falling from the seasons, A thousand screams. Madness, Feels like, My soul has turned, Into steel. There's no room, At the inn, For you, Or for me. It's getting later, Twenty five, And lining the grave, With a funeral procession, Sick minds, Think alike. A letter written, Forty two, Or nine, I don't see why, I should even care, It's getting dark, Maybe time, To close my eyes. No dreams, No memories, That disease, I've been on the bottom, Been on the top, Been a pauper Been a king, Sometimes, I feel the burden, Pushing me down, Getting there. Silence in the daylight, Nothing left to talk about, Just sitting here, Wishing I was there. I was born here, And I'll probably die here, Don't look like I'm moving, And I probably not, Silence in the Daylight. Whispers in the wind, Goodbye...

Dearest love, I see thee in the rain, dancing to the sound, that song for which we loved, I dare not close my eyes for you shall disappear from my vision, that dream that I shall see. I wish you were still here, for me to touch, to feel your body close to mine. Dreamless wonders fall apart, dare not weep, for one last kiss upon thy sweet lips, the song, our song, plays on, I grasp thee in my arms and we dance to that song, a memory. I would be lying if I said I did not miss you, to hold you one more time.  I go on with my life, I shall say, but every day I miss you, more and more, that smile, delight. Where do I go from here? I cry in the middle of the night. What would I say to you if I  could be with you one more night, lying in the dark, your head on my chest, listening to me breath. I love you. I miss you.

The words, They do not matter, But the sentences, They matter. The knife, It does not matter, But the wound it causes, Does the most matter. Heaven, That place of peace, Only way there, Through death, A bitter sadness, To reach that peace, For those left behind. Standing in a rain, Sadness washed away, Through tears, Not allowed to hit the ground below. The ground opened up, And swallowed us, Whole, To sink below the waves, Our hands waving not hello, But we were drowning. I did not mean to cause you any sorrow, Didn't mean to cause you any pain, All I wanted to see is to see you laughing, There, In that rain, Alive, To hear you say my name, To feel your lips on mine, There, In that rain. I could not think a life without you, Here, In this life, Without you, There, Here, Where? I love you more each day, I love you even in the pain, Without you. Standing in the rain, Weeping, For these hours, days, Without you, Now I'm dying alone, Here, T...

It felt like a bullet to the head, A pain of a memory, Deep in the heart, Raging in the brain, Better off dead, Found him face down, In his pillow, A song, Beneath the willows, Not enough whiskey To kill that pain, That memory. Who stood at the back of the room? He sat there, at the back of the bar, drinking his fifth whiskey, straight.  Lies became the truth, like those memories, slowly fading in the distance, a small trip down the road, stumbling, catching the railing, up the stairs. He fell into bed, drifted off into a weary sleep, fleeing from the nightmares of life, not wanting to wake up. Tonight, that random night, good night, he felt his hand shaking, grabbing the glass. She did so much better than him, but it still hurt, sitting there, at the bar, the place, those memories. Sleep much? The bartender slid him another drink, frowning at the mess of the man sitting there. "Hello stranger?" Hi. Bye. He stood up, stumble forward, tried ...

Dances in dreams, Running through stars, We sat in the garden, Drinking gasoline, Freedom from death, From that life, Which we do not see, To not hear, Run, Freely into happiness, Released from the dredge, The non harmonic plies of that life, Chains thrown off, In fits of rage, Cry, oh darkness, cry, Away, You bastards! Sea foam, Green, Bases covered in rust, Graffiti, angry words, Thrown from the balcony, To the crowd gather below, Rain falling, acidic, burning skin, Fear that which we do not understand, Do not care to understand, Throw up untruth, To keep that despair from ruining our lives. We drank gasoline, limes, To kill our minds, Those memories, Despair reached out, Falling, Forward, Into dark, That deep lake, Drowning us, Wishing to not hear our cries. We tried, To swim up, The chains upon our ankles, Held us down, To the bottom, We wanted to breathe, But in our mind, We were trapped, In madness, Our happiness fake, Masks worn to h...

Madness Define A Declaration of the World to the World  - A Scene in two parts - BY Samuel Stiggens III There, somewhere, trapped in time and space, a place inside his mind, the poet sits, drinking his wine, twirling his hair around his finger as his other hand writes, madness really, stuff, thrown like pasta to the wall, to see if it sticks! Anger stripped, mindless banter, into the wind, to be carried forth from his witless wit, his pondering of life's events, from the smoke filled bars of Chapeltown, to that romance that was not to be, to his life currently, among the natives, that he observes so carefully. Measurements of time, in increments, spaced perfectly on heart filled pages, memories, distant, flying through a space filled with madness, dreams, cancelled checks from strip clubs where women named Jewels and Kandy twirl upon silver polished poles to the songs of the ages. "She's my cherry pie!!" The madness seeps into th...